Free Time?

Apparently, I thought I would have free time after I quit working at the Dining Hall. What a joke. I haven't written in more than a month A. because Ive had no free time and B. because I forgot my username/password. whoops. Boy this week is going to suck. And next week. And the week after that. 2 more weeks of class then exams. Actually, 2 weeks from today I will be done with this semester. Shit. I have so much to do. At least tomorrow is Thursday so I will have lots of free time to hit up the library and do some serious studying.  I have to try to push myself the hardest possible that I can because if I don't then I know that there could have been something that I could have done better. Although I like to come off as calm and uncaring, this bothers me.  I hate seeing what I could have done better, but didn't.  I think my problem is that I am afraid of failure, so I just don't try and that way I have an excuse.  Because if I fail now, its because I didn't try, but if I actually try my hardest then fail, well I'm just a failure. 
Now I have to do a lab that should've been done hours ago, Whaaaatttt?!

Free Time!

So I quit my job last Friday.  And now I have a lot of free time, which is good even though most of it will go to studying.   But today, I worked out for an hour with my workout buddy Sophie.  She brightens my day every time I see her and I am soo thankful that we are better friends this year.  Also, I am glad that I am working out now because it really helps me focus and just generally be better. So I'm glad Sophie pushes me to workout with her. 
Fall break starts on Wednesday, which is sooo good because I need a break.  I just need to be home, even if it is just for a weekend.  I really miss my dad.  I brag about him so much to people because honestly he is still my favorite male in my life.  I love my daddy.  I miss his perspective and how he talks about things I would never think about because he is just that smart.  Everybody loves him, and I can't wait to give him a big hug. 
Did I mention that most of these entries will just be me rambling?
Anyways Ive had a lot on my mind today but I can't write it all out so I guess I'll just post this and start some hw.

Anyways...

Hi. So I got distracted, and didn't read any more of The Bell Jar.  So I'm not going to say tomorrow, I'm just going to say sometime soon.  I want to write like a review or something like that.  I don't know why, I just looooove this book. I just really identify with it.  Ok if I start this, I'm not going to want to stop and I have got to get to bed soon.  Goodnight :)

Over the span of 2 hours

I got a package today!! A real-live care package in the mail. It was like Christmas morning and all of my dreams came true.  It really made my week.  I honestly feel so blessed that someone who is not even related to me would take time out of their day and wallet to brighten my day. 
Gah - 40 min later. A night of studying. What a bore.  And, I'll have to write about The Bell Jar tomorrow because it is an amazing book and I love it.
And again at 50 min later - still studying. I hate micro.
And goodnight.

Tuesday Nights

So I think that I really just created this for need to write things down.  I have a journal but that takes a long term commitment.  And, if I am out of my room, I can't write.  So I don't care if anyone ever reads this, its really just my personal insights and thoughts that I need to get out somewhere.
I hate when the internet is slow.  I have this thought about five times a day because for some reason, when I'm sitting on my bed, the internet always acts up. But then I remember back to freshman year in highschool when my family still had dial-up and I wonder how I survived.  Also, I wonder why we have come to expect immediate results for everything.  I know personally I love immediate results but I think I need to learn to be more patient.  The whole world does. Or, my whole world does.  Everyone just needs to stop and take a breath.  I think this is coming from the fact that I've been so stressed this week so far and the rest of the week does not look good.  And, even when I have free time, I feel as though I should be doing something with it.  Like right now.  Is this really accomplishing anything or should I be studying for microbiology? Ok, enough rambling for now, I'm off to shower and study some more.  For tomorrow: The Bell Jar

And Im Late For Class

Too bad I was distracted. Story of my life.